The one that got away
by OtterAndTerrier
Summary: [Part #1 of the "Inventory of Han Solo Kisses" series in the making, set during the trip to Bespin.] A collection of Han Solo kisses. She was neither a romantic nor a collector, yet Leia was sure that'd be one worth having.
**A/N:** Happy Star Wars Day, guys, May the Fourth be with you! Decided to post this today in light of the occasion, mainly because it's the only one I finished on time.

If you read **Walk your days on a wire** , you might or might not remember there's a mention to Leia's "inventory of Han Solo kisses". It was just a pretty sentence I came up with, but with **erindarroch** 's encouragement, I decided to make all my possible trip-to-Bespin one-shots revolve around that concept. This is about the first kiss of the inventory, the rest will be posted also as separate stories.

Writing this was tricky and I'm nervous about posting it, because interpreting a character's thoughts, feelings and motivations in a canon scene can be a hit or miss. So this is my take, maybe one of my _takes_ , on Leia's thoughts during this scene. Fair warning, it's practically word vomit. I realised this is what I do when I write character introspection; my justification is that thoughts and feelings are messy and all over the place, so when you got no plot… anyway, carry on!

Thanks a lot to **glorious-clio** for coaxing out the ending and checking for mistakes, and to **erindarroch** for the support!

* * *

 **The one that got away**  
 _ **-First kiss**_

Their first kiss was actually two kisses. The actual first one was an almost impertinent, shut-up-now kind of kiss even though it had been building up, one that would have been worthy of a knee in the groin had it been anyone else or any other time. It was firm, but soft, and brief, and it was a good thing, because Leia's carefully cultivated instincts claimed for a knee in the groin anyway. _How dare you shut me up, how dare you touch me, how dare you make a move right now, how dare_ —

Then he pulled away, looked at her, searching for her reaction, and that split second when she looked back at Han was all she needed.

So she said okay, answering his silent plea for permission, and that was when the second kiss began, which was another thing altogether—even if, technically, it was still the first kiss. Kiss Part One and Kiss Part Two.

Kiss Part Two was her walls falling down all at once with shattering force. It was years of restraint let loose. It was as if their entire acquaintance since they had met had been leading up to this moment (not quite true: she had hated him when they met. Hated him the way she had wanted to knee him in the groin for that kiss, which was _not really_ ). It was both hard and soft, fast and slow, slow-burning and all-consuming. And cut short by a droid she regretted having got stuck with.

At this interruption, though, her instincts were back full-force, and she ran before she knew what she was doing. It had been an almost childish reaction, she knew, but the moment was over, and with that came the big question. What next?

Sitting alone in the darkened cockpit, Leia thought long and hard about that and decided the answer was very straightforward. She hadn't always wanted to kiss him, and when she realised she did, there were a dozen reasons why she knew it'd be a bad idea. There had been a few close calls, where she'd considered, for a moment, that maybe… But then, he was always threatening to leave, and part of her was afraid—he'd read her so well earlier, not that she'd admit it out loud—that it'd be more than just a kiss, and when he took off…

Now, the kiss had happened. As soon as they rendezvoused with the rest of the Alliance fleet, which should be a day at the most once they finished repairs and got out of the asteroid, he was gone. She would have been right to be afraid of the aftermath if things were different, but it seemed like all cards were on the table now. They had kissed, he was leaving, and she was starting to accept those things as facts. They didn't even have to talk about it—there was no reason for any awkwardness—she'd act in a way that would let him now she was fine, because she _was_ fine. She had been long curious about how kissing Han would be like, and she got two kisses for the price of one.

Leia had never been much of a collector, but right now she felt a bit cheated, as if someone had given her the two starting holos of a collection for free, but she had to pay for the rest. And the two holos were different, unique, and she was happy with them… but she was also curious to see how the rest would be like.

She sighed. A collection of Han Solo kisses. She was neither a romantic nor a collector, yet Leia was sure that'd be one worth having. If Threepio hadn't interrupted, there might even have been a Kiss Part Three to add to the repertoire. Alternatively, if she hadn't botched things up by running away, there could still be a proper second kiss before they reached the rendezvous—

Something caught her eye outside the viewport, bringing her out of her reverie. _Or not_ , Leia thought wearily, standing up to squint at the darkness beyond.

She spared a last thought to kissing as she ran out of the cockpit and away from the nightmarish yellow eye that stared at her through the window: it was bad timing to think of kissing.

 _But_ , Leia thought as she pulled an oxygen mask over her face, ready to follow Han outside of the ship to confront whatever was attacking them now, _isn't it always bad timing?_


End file.
